The Tilt Room

OKAY SO I HAVE LIKE THE BIG BLIND AND I’M HOLDING QQ. I RAISE AFTER SIX DONKS LIMPED IN AND I GET 4 CALLERS. NICE CALL DONKS IS IN MY HEAD BUT I DONT SAY IT BECAUSE HEY THEY MIGHT HEAR IT AND KNOW I AM PROPLAYER RIGHT SO AIGHT FLOP COMES QKT. GOOD FLOP BUT NOT PERFECT SO I BET RIGHT OUT WITH LIKE 3/4 POT SIZE BET AND ONE DONKAMENTER MOVES IN FOR LIKE $200 MORE AIGHT WHO GIVES A SHIT I SAY IF HE HAS AJ I HAVE OUTS SO I PREPARE TO CALL WHEN BEHIND HIM ONE IDIOTA MOLAJA DOES AN ALL-IN CALL, HE HAD LIKE $100 SO NO BIGGIE BUT WHAT THE FUDGE RIGHT AIGHT SO ONE MORE DUDE CALLS SO I THINK TO MYSELF HE HAS AK CLUBS AS THERE WERE TWO CLUBS ON BOARD.

WITH MY QUEENS I FEEL OBLIGOTERATED TO MAKE THE CALL SO I SHOVE ALL-IN I HAD LIKE $600 AND DONKBALL WITH AK CLUBS CALLS TOO. I WAS RIGHT. ONE DUDE HAS AJ. THE OTHER ONE WITH THE $200 HAS KJ. KJ I’M NOT FREAKING KIDDING.

TURN IS AN ACE, RIVER THE FREAKING CASE KING. DONKAMENT WINS MAIN POT. I ALMOST KILLED HIM. ONE-OUTER MY ASS.

CLUELESS. NO SHIT. CLUELESS.

IF YOU FEEL LIKE FUDGING CALLING MY PRE-FLOP RAISE (WHICH I ONLY DO ONCE EVERY ONE OR TWO ORBITS) WITH NINE FOUR OFF SUIT, WOULD YOU FREAKING MIND NOT MAKING A DONKAMENT STRAIGHT FREAKING FLUSH ON ME WITH A ONE-OUTER ON THE MOTHERBADGING RIVER?

I’M SO TIRED OF THIS CRAP I FEEL LIKE STRANGLING SOMEONE THROUGH THE INTERNET CABLE.

BAH!

BUT I LOVE READING ABOUT BAD BEATS WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE VICTIMS HAHAHAHA LOOK AT THIS GUY COMPLAINING ABOUT LOSING TOP SET AGAINST 57OS! :S

CAN I GET A WOOPWOOP?

WAS ON A RAISING SPREE WITH SOME DONK IN PLO I HAD ACES HE HAD JACKS WE ENDED UP GOING ALL IN ON THE FLOP WITH A QUEEN ON THERE DONK MADE JACK ON THE RIVER AND HE WAS OH SO HAPPY MAN IF I COULD I WOULD STRANGLE HIM THROUGH THE INTERNETS.

DONKAMENTSSSSS

I FOLLOW THIS DONK AROUND FROM NOW ON TAKING HIS MONEYS IS LIKE MY FAV THING ROFLOL OK SO I JOIN HIS NL200 TABLE AND START OWNING IT UP RIGHT MAKING RAISES TAKING MONEY RIGHT NAC_BREDA69 LOSING MONEY WITH BAD CALLS AS ALWAYS HAHAHA DONKAMENTS.

ANYWAY DONKBALL RAISES I HAVE K3 AND I THINK OK LETS TAKE THIS FFFFFFKKKAAAAA DOWN AIGHT SO I CALL HIS RAISE OF LIKE 4 BIGBLINDS RIGHT AND FLOP IS K-5-3 HAHA I HIT TOP AND BOTTOM PAIR RIGHT SO I CHECK HE BETS I CALL TURN IS A TEN I CHECK HE BETS I RAISE HE CALLS RIVER IS ANOTHER 3 AND I BET, HE RAISES I MOVE ALL-IN DONKADONKADONK MAKES CALL HAS KING TEN HAHAHAHA.

WHAT HE THINK HE CAN BEAT ME???!!! THINK AGAIN LOSERDONKKKKK!!!!

OKAY SO I’M DOING THE WHOLE POKER ON SUNDAY NIGHT THING RIGHT OWNING IT UP JUST SMOOTHCALLING WITH ALL MAH HANDS Y’KNAMSAYIN’ AND LIKE I PICK UP THE BULLETS RIGHT AND I SMOOTHCALL PRE-FLOP GET RAISED BEHIND ME I RE-RAISE HE RE-RAISES ME AND I SHOVE IN PRE-FLOP WHICH I DON’T USUALLY DO BUT NAC_BREDA69 WAS PLAYING SO TIGHT LIKE PHIL LAAK I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP SO I WENT ALL-IN RIGHT.

THE DONK FOLDS AND SHOWS POCKET KINGS.

HOW CAN HE KNOW I MEAN THAT IS PURE BOLLOCKS WHY WOULD HE FOLD THE KINGS IN THAT SPOT I HAD LIKE $200 LEFT HE HAD LIKE $140 AND THE POT WAS like $75. WHAT A DUMB DONKLAYDOWN OMG CHEAT NO WAY.

I WENT THROUGH MY HAND HISTORY TO GET A TELL ON THIS DONKBALLZ AND GUESS WHAT HE MAKES DONKEYCALLS LIKE WHATTHEBUCK ALL THE FREAKIN TIME HAHAHA I AM SO GOING TO PWN HIM AND TAKE HIM RENT MONEY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA END UP IN GUTTERBALLLLLLL MR LORRO85!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LORRO85′S GRANDMA IS A DONK TOO. I’M SO NOT KIDDING.

YES I’M TALKING TO YOU LORRO85 YOUR MOTHER IS A REAL DONK NO SH*T MAN NICE NICE FLOPPING A FREAKING STRAIGHT FLUSH WHEN I HAVE THE NUT FLUSH AND THEN BISSHING ABOUT IT AGAINST ME BECAUSE I CALL YOUR BET GO FIGURE DONKBALL.

FOR CRYARIZING OUT LOUD LORRO85 I BET YOUR DADDY IS A DONKEY TOO. DONK!

ACE FOUR OFF SUIT IS NOT A GOOD HAND I KNOW BUT JEEZES CHRIST I HAD BEEN RUNNING GOOD SO I CALLED A LITTLE RAISE BEFORE THE FLOP AND THE FLOP WAS ACE ACE NINE WHICH WAS AWESOME RIGHT SO I CHECKED THE FLOP AND THE DONKEY BET AND I JUST SMOOTHCALLED AWESOME STUFF AS HE WOULD BET AGAIN ON THE TURN WHICH WAS WHAT I WANTED OBVIOUSLY SO AAIGHT CHILLING TURN CARD A FOUR!!!!!!!!

RIGHT WITH THE 4 ON THE BOARD I WAS NOW THE PIMP DADDY AS I HAD A DAMN FULL HOUSE INNIT?

SO THE GUY BET AND I RAISED MINIMUM AND HE MOVED ALL IN AND I CALLED AND HE HAD ACE NINE BETTER FULL HOUSE ME DRAWING DEAD.

FULL TILT POKER MY BATTY